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    29 September

    南加州从来不下雨

    一年多了,我终于舍得换掉了那张在去getty center的路上吐舌头的照片,虽然取而代之的是咧大嘴无比傻x的乐。傻是傻了点儿,偶尔变换一下,也挺好,起码让我觉得自己没那么老。

    理发师说:“你发质真好。”我轻笑着想起他一年前初次见我拿着我头发痛心疾首的样子。“把所有黄色的头发都剪掉。”接着我便看到了那许久未见的一头不够黑的黑发,真的是许久了,虽然它短得像少年才有的长度,有些可笑。这样子不断提醒着我,那些零散地放进了编着号的收纳箱里的自己。

    在学校的书报亭买了本红色的笔记本,两块钱,非常廉价,封皮用的是廉价的纸壳,内页是廉价到不能再廉价的大白纸。它们被放在一个黑色的大盒子里,随便地摆在脏兮兮地地上,图书馆建造的灰尘不时飘过来,附着在上面。我也不知道为什么自己在无意瞥向它时眼神会发出光亮,我猜想在年幼无知时,在物质还不算丰富的那个年代,我也曾对着那廉价的美登高发出过这样的眼神。它们都时廉价的,廉价是美好而永恒的。

    我把那本本子当成了日程本,上面记下了那些我缺乏行动力的罪证。我忙,我也应该很忙,但我却无比痛恨那些可恶的应该,但我却更痛恨着那些我痛恨应该背后的无奈与懦弱。这两句拗口的话,是我扯远了...


    坐车的时候CRI里的广播说,北京国庆会下雨。哦,对了,请让我提一下我还保持着听广播这项传统美德。CRI还说,将使用技术手段来阻止以保障阅兵。然后,我忽然想起了那首歌,南加州从来不下雨,其实它和这篇日志没有任何关系。

    我以前常会想什么是生活的真谛。我承认,这是个很俗的问题,俗不可耐。但我现在觉得,生活的真谛就是那些让你欲罢不能却又无法参悟透的小禅意。我也承认,这是个很俗的答案,俗不可耐。我知道我又再度扯远了...其实这一段和这篇日志也没有任何关系。

    人活着就得常常调戏自己,嘲讽自己,给自己找点儿乐子。

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